Bad News Bears

On the heels of the recent news regarding tonight's basketball game in Lexington, I have officially decided that the 2006-07 UGA basketball team is snake bitten.

• Levi Stukes did not travel with the team for tonight's game, due to conduct detrimental to the team. Could there be worse timing?
• I have no idea what happened to prompt this suspension, but out of all the Bulldogs I hate for this to happen to Levi. I have always admired the fact that he came to Athens as Felton's first substantial recruit when he knew the dire situation left behind by Harrick.
  
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• Mike Mercer shreds his knee. How different would the Ole Miss game have been with Mercer in the line-up?
  
• Alabama (despite the fact that the entire sports world has it in for them) beats the Dogs by a bucket on a disputed (and apologized for) call at the buzzer. How great would it be to have that win in the pocket right now?
• Gonzaga's second leading scorer was suspended after his arrest for 'shroom possession. You have to be trippin' (I couldn't leave that one alone). The Dog's win over the 'Zags earlier in the year now carries less weight in the RPI as Gonzaga struggles during the second half of the season.

Trippin' Balls

At the beginning of the year, a birth in the NIT would have been a wonderful achievement for Dennis "Man Style" Felton and his troops. At this point in the season, however, it would be a shame if the Dogs could not find their way into the tournament. A victory at UK (RPI #11) tonight would seal the deal for the Dogs. A loss tonight means that the Dogs would need to win its final game or its first game in the SEC tournament. A victory over Tennessee in the final game would be a huge hurdle, especially considering the recent strong play of the Vols. Let's hope the Bulldogs can overcome this string of bad luck and find a way to sneak into the tournament. It would be a wonderful recruiting tool and a sign to the basketball world that Georgia Basketball is moving in the right direction under Dennis Felton. Not to mention, I really want to see what kind of suit 'ole Dennis would sport for a tourney run.

Have you seen me?

AWOL.

BREAKING NEWS: Slavery is bad

Following the lead of the United States Congress, Virginia’s legislators have taken a shocking stand...they renounced slavery. This is just the most recent story in a line of stories regarding the emerging threat of slavery in America. Some people point to Meth as the newest threat to the American South, however, our news media and even state legislators have taken the steps to recognize and thwart the promulgation of slavery. Why is it that elected officials are so ready to vote on non-binding and extremely popular measures instead of attacking real threats? Elected officials are attempting to become little more than individuals voting in online public opinion polls.

WARNING: Alabama may be next...Actually, let's not get too ahead of ourselves.

A Gunslinger in the Run-and-Shoot?

16 years ago, the Falcons were faced with a quarry very similar to the one they face today: Do you the trade the young and talented, bright-eyed QB for a first-round draft pick? 16 years ago, the Falcons made the (apparently) wrong choice and sent the one-year Buckhead wonder to Green Bay for Packers' top pick.

I am in no way suggesting that Slugger Schaub is in the class of Brett Favre, either in substance abuse problems or in pure God-given arm strength. In fact, I think the Falcons would be rather dumb not to cash in on Schaub's value; frankly I'm surprised they didn't do it last year when his value was at its peak. But it is interesting that the Falcons once again have managed to draft a stud quarterback which they plan only to use as a backup, particularly in light of this little piece of eye-poking from Bristol: What if the Falcons had not traded Brett Favre?

What if the Falcons hadn't traded Favre? Well, Gee, I don't know. What if your bosses hadn't decided to be located in Connecticut, and you could wake up every morning without your scrotum being frozen to your thigh? Up yours, ESPN.

Whenever some asinine talking head used to ask this question, I used to say to myself: "Pettifogger, if the Falcons had kept Favre they would have never drafted Vick!" That was a reasonable reaction for a few years, but now Vick has turned into Ron Mexico and has forgotten how to lead the team to the playoffs. So now that there's no solice anymore that we have Vick, I guess you have to consider it. The thing is, the Favre fantasy should be nothing to get too worked up about. Given the insurmountable culture of mediocrity, Favre would have been about as good as Jeff George in the ole Run 'n Shoot, but in the process he might have re-ignited the entire City of Atlanta in a drunken stupor. Count your (few) blessings, Atlanta fans.

Why no, Scarlett, that's not the Yankees. Its just our backup quarterback. Why yes, he is from Mississippi!

The Return of Fast Freddie

This news is kind of late, but recently the Falcons signed hometown fave Fred Gibson (I guess his hometown team would more accurately be called the Jaguars, but I'm sure Fred is happy to latch on with anybody). I always thought that Fast Freddie would have been given a more fair shake in the pros given his size, natural athleticism (ask Billy Donovan), and his fast playing speed. After watching him for 4 years at UGA, I wouldn't nominate him for the Steve Irwin Award for Courage for running routes across the middle, but he did make tremendous progress during his career.

Alligator Arms! Crikey!

In fact, his TD catch in his senior year to beat the Gators (where he essentially snatched the ball out of the DB's grasp) was one of the gutsiest and strong-armed grabs I've ever seen.

I have seen way too little of this in my lifetime.

One thing I've never understood about the NFL is how players from lesser-known schools, who haven't had to face stiff competition each day in practice and every Saturday, seemingly get more opportunities than players like Gibson. I know that the NFL effectively and ruthlessly evaluates talent, but take a gander at the Steelers' current roster. They have wideouts that hail from the football powerhouses of Brown, UTEP, and Tiffin. You can't tell me with a straight face that all of those guys will be much better in the League than a Gibson or Terrance Edwards, 2 UGA studs that have flamed out in the pros. I would posit that pro scouts overvalue the "chip on his shoulder" trait and are more willing to take chances on small-school talent than those "fat cats" from high profile programs.

Hope Fred makes the most of his chance. If the Falcons cut him in favor of the wondrous Adam Jennings, it will be just another reason to hate them.

Weekend Observations

How the mighty have fallen:

A lovely trip to Tuscaloosa on Saturday for the Kentucky – Alabama basketball game taught me two things: these once might powers have fallen. Not too long ago Kentucky and Alabama reigned supreme over the SEC in basketball and football respectively. The action on the court evidenced Kentucky’s fall from prominence, while the action in the stands evidenced that the Crimson Tide nation is having difficulty coping with the current state of Tide athletics, most notably their football program.

At the first TV timeout the once-mighty Wildcats had scored a whopping two points. At the completion of the game UK had gone sixty-three minutes without having the lead over an opponent. It is clear that Tubby Smith does not have the ability to motivate, recruit, and coach Kentucky effectively. For the Kentucky Basketball Program’s sake, I would hope that Tubby moves forward after this season and is not formally forced out by UK.

It was clear to me that the Alabama faithful are quite frustrated with ‘Bama athletics. After every possession in the second-half there were at least 10 men that would stand in unison and complain about a call or non-call on the respective ends of the floor. This frustration (especially in a game that 'Bama led throughout) stems from the slide downward of their football program and with the way in which the sanctions prompting this slide came about. It is quite clear that Alabama feels as if it is 'Bama against the world – they are still angry over their belief that Fat Phil sold them out and they feel that ESPN had a strong hand in the sanctions stemming from the Albert Means incident. At the end of the day, Bama needs to understand that they cheated – an Alabama booster paid over 200K to get Albert means to come to Alabama, end of story.

These two programs are nearly parallel – the two fan bases are out of control and the fan bases cannot come to the understanding that the once-mighty have fallen. The only difference between the two programs is that University of Alabama has allowed their direction to be charted by this overly rabid fanbase. Since the 1940s UK basketball has been headed by five coaches. The last five football coaches in Tuscaloosa – Saban, Shula, Coach Fran, Dubose, Stallings – only take us back to 1990.

The Baron and the Bear would not be happy.

High Profile Boosters Applaud Loudly

For quite some time is has been a well known fact throughout Dixie that Bobby Lauder and Paul Bryant Jr. run Auburn and Alabama respectively. They pull the strings that rouse the Athletic Directors to action. I am certain everybody remembers Lauder’s jet sitting of the tarmac at the Louisville airport waiting to take Bobby Petrino to Auburn to replace the Riverboat Gambler. Regarding Alabama, this recent incident shows who runs Alabama football.

The power of these boosters makes the recent news from the University of Oregon even more interesting. Instead of keeping up the – albeit fraudulent – illusion that boosters don’t run the program, Oregon has hired a high level booster (only one step below Mr. Swoosh himself) to run its athletic department.

Nowhere was this news more applauded than in great state of Alabama, where the mortal enemies, Bryan and Lauder, locked arms and jumped for joy.

Driving with Diapers Pt. II

To update last week’s Driving With Diapers story…While the AARP did not get its wish regarding a 72 year old behind the wheel at the Great American Race, they did get the next best thing. Instead of a man in diapers driving to victory, we got an aging Viagra spokesman losing by an inch (cheap joke warning... I guess he did not give the Viagra enough time to take hold).

**disclaimer: In understand that Marting no longer drives the #6 Viagra car, however, there were no jokes regarding Daytona without making this connection.

Lefty Chokes Again

The suddenly svelte Phil Mickelson choked again. Lefty, in a replay of Winged Foot, failed to par the 72^nd hole to secure victory. Even after Chucky Three Sticks (Charles Howell III) took Mickelson to a playoff, Lefty had opportunity to win the tournament with a relatively easy up and down, but failed. Is there any doubt that Lefty is a head case down the stretch? Maybe the extra 60 pounds is not what was holding Lefty back.

News of the Weird

Britney Spears continues to follow in the footsteps of Anna Nicole Smith. In case you missed her latest excellent decision, she shaved her head. Need I say more?

Driving with Diapers!

Despite Tim Hardaway's proclamation of his hatred for gays, (note that Tim has recently affirmed his hatred by commenting on past articles found in this blog) I have decided to write about people driving with diapers on. I am not talking about this famous cosmonaut. However, I am talking about NASCAR.

Let us first remember that NASCAR is the organization that prides itself on safety. They have even gone so far as to install flaps on the tops of the cars to reduce the highlight reel flips that drew people to the sport.

Because of the above, I was shocked to read about this 72 year old hotrodder attempting to qualify, for America's Greatest Race, today at almost 200 miles per hour. This was even more shocking after learning of this incident that took place today.

The intimidator would spin the old man out. Love the Gargoyles Dale.

Long live Dale! We miss you 3 Car.

Salutations,
Bubble

Breaking News: NCAA takes its head out of its ass

The NCAA did something completely out of character - it did something good for college football.

In doing so it is breaking ground on two fronts.

1. Putting the interests of the game above the almighty dollar.
2. Admitting it was wrong.

Thank you Bret Bielema

Hold On, Bigger Name on Line 2

I know this page is ostensibly about Georgia football, but this is the sports news of the day and it must be mentioned. Why in the name of all that is holy did the Chargers (I refuse to call them the SuperChargers just because Berman does) fire Marty Schottenheimer? Going 14-2 and losing in a tough playoff game does not usually get a head coach fired. Schottenheimer and AJ Smith, the Chargers GM, must have some sort of death feud doing. There are three variables that had to come together for this firing to go down in February - one week before the combine.

1. AJ Smith really hates Marty. Not dislikes, but hates. I mean, I dislike Jim Pettifogger because he is a slapdick lawyer but we still get along well enough to do this blog.
2. AJ Smith is insane/oblivious/filthy stinking rich or a combination of all three. If, although I would expect when to be more apt, blows up in the Chargers face AJ Smith will be the one that is on the hook.
3. Huge name poised to take the job. I know that they will have to go through the dog and pony show of interviewing candidates, but they surely have spoken with big name head coaches about this job. With my limited understanding of the rules, I believe the Chargers could not have spoken to any current NFL coaches. But there are some pretty good head coaches out of job right now.
   

Last night and this morning I cruised around the regular sports sites - blog or otherwise - and they all had a list of candidates. So, I guess that is the thing to do today so here is mine.

1. Tuna.
2. Pete Carroll. Especially now that Reggie Bush has managed to get SC into NCAA trouble twice in two years. Not that impressive, except that he was no longer in school in both instances.
   
3. Cowher. Retiring to North Carolina to learn the piano is nice. Retiring to San Diego to beat ass with the most talented team in the NFL is much better.
4. Saban. Just because he is a mercenary like that.

If AJ Smith and the Chargers cannot get one of these guys - or a guy of their ilk - then this was a dumb move. Although, not as dumb a move as betting on the Chargers to win the 2008 Super Bowl last week.