Straight Out of Billy Knight's Playbook

The Falcons, as usual, made a big splash in free agency. Even Terence Moore is impressed. Call me jaded, but most of these splashes have turned out to be more like water plops. The newest big thing for the Birds is Michael Turner. I get this reasoning. Why draft the next great offensive playmaker (McDadden) when you can have the current one's backup? This is a classic Billy Knight move. Remember he thought it would be better to sign Chris Paul's understudy, Speedy Claxton, instead of drafting the man himself. That didn't work so well, for the Hawks anyway. This is taking Saccharin over sugar, Jamie Foxx over Ray Charles, or strip clubs over hookers.

Come on Dimitroff. Go for the real thing. There is a reason Turner backed up LT- because he's not the generational weapon that LT is. And I got news for you, McFaddy Daddy is better than LT. And here's another free tip to you Dimitroff, just for riding the Pettifogging express: Get Vick back next year. There are 3 simple steps to NFL domination. Step one: Draft McFaddyDaddy. Step two: smuggle clean urine into VickDog's drug rehab cell. Step three : In 2009, run the Wildcat offense on every single play. Let's see those two freaks of nature bring the wood on every play. Think about it.

VickDog and McFaddyDaddy in the same backfield. I just want to be entertained.

Oh, you have a better option at QB? That's right, I forgot you've got Matty Ice (who positively torched a down ACC this year. hint: check out the completion % and INTs. For a Senior! Are you kidding?) and Chris "Good Hands" Redman.

God, you're right, the Vickster offed a few of his lazier pit bulls. But you know, this is America, and people forgive a lot worse shit than that. Hell, just look at our fair state's history. Herman Talmadge was elected to the Senate for decades after he ran on a platform for a white primary. We still all drink 8 Cokes a day even though they tried to make everyone crackheads. Richard Jewell tried to save some lives at the Olympics, was fat, and died (well, maybe Jewell doesn't fit here, but cut some slack; how could we forgive such a portly man for not doing something that was done which we all wanted him to have done? chew on that for a sec). Scheurholz got to run the Braves for a decade and a half after he traded the Murph. Vince Dooley's name gets priority over both Butts and Mehre and he hired Ray Friggin' Goff. Obviously, all these are much less forgivable affronts to mankind, and we Georgians learned to revere them over time.

Of course, no one listens to Pettifogger. It's a given that the Falcons won't draft McDadden. That's alright, what's not to love about that strategy? Signing career backup RBs sure has worked wonders for Al Davis (hopefully Turner at least will not allegedly urinate himself while driving). I guess the practical side of me can somewhat maybe kinda sorta understand drafting line help, but God help the Georgia Dome if they draft Ryan. If I'm ever in downtown ATL, I will totally pull a Rhodes on it.

Please, do what Al Davis does.