Three and Out: Uninformed Speculation about Stafford's Future

If we are honest with ourselves, we can all remember some not-so-distant past time when we were dog-cussing Matthew Stafford. Perhaps you nodded while Coach Know-it-All a few rows down in your section at Sanford screamed for his tallowed head (Colorado, anyone?). My God, you silently shook your head, Joe Cox cannot be this bad. Yet all the while, we Georgia fans embraced Staff's learning curve with a sort of eager endurance, trusting that things would get better. And then when things did click, we all reckoned, they would not get any better than the Highland Park gunslinger.

He improved rather drastically last year, and his statistics simply do not perform justice to how dynamic and explosive his right appendage can make an offense. Those adjectives have rarely been associated w/ Mark Richt offenses since his arrival in Athens. The combination of a relentless ground game with the Texan's lightning quick airstrikes led to the release of long-pent-up giddiness in Georgia fans last year. He is finally living up to the hype, and we have tremendous expectations for the coming two years.

But please don't hate him when he turns pro next year. Of course, this leap is premised on Georgia having a very good year this season - say ten wins - and Stafford's further progress. Seven has it all- size, height, experience, pocket presence, moxy, leadership, you name it. And of course, you also may have seen his generational-type fastball which could shred the Georgia Dome's fabric roof. Yes, he has every trait the pros want except for one thing: accuracy. His personal goal for completion percentage next season is 62%. Given his development from rookie to soph, that mark is more than realistic - and do not be surprised if he surpasses it.

I love the NFL, but only a fool would admit that there are not many sub par QBs in the league. Mel Kiper may know a thing or two after all. Elway, Jr. will be in high demand next year. But Pettifogger, you say, aren't all honky children of privilege (white quarterbacks) adamant about basking in their four years of college stardom to the fullest? Look at Peyton, Couch, Leinart, Eli, Rivers, Quinn, Brohm, etc., etc., etc. You can never get that college experience back. Yes, you are right. Except that loyally sticking around for that senior year has proven costly -very costly - for a few QBs recently. You counter: but Leinart and Brohm had limited physical tools and had already reached their ceiling by their junior campaigns, and Staff will be different on both counts. Again, you are right.

But I have a trump card:
Owners are expected to opt out of the collective bargaining extension in November, which starts the clock ticking on future labor problems. Owners believe the current system doesn't work. Two years ago, at the threat of losing the salary cap, owners endorsed a CBA extension that favored the players, but it's eating into the owners' profit margins.

Not good. That means 2009 will be the last year under this labor deal. With no deal, there will be no salary cap in 2010. We know that ain't happening anytime soon. The NFL's Shield has grown strong behind the egalitarian principles that MLB baseball lacked all these years. What does this mean?

Welcome to Economics class kids! The owners are giving away less money, and the current players aren't giving up a dime of what they already have. Where does the money come from then, class? That's right, Johnny, those two parties will eagerly screw anyone without a seat at the table. We already know how they collude against league veterans. Guess who else is largely unrepresented? College players. Everyone seems to love this idea of limiting future rookie pay (man it pains me to link to Micheal David Smith and his PFT trash. Killing dogs is really bad, we get it already.). Shafting future stars may or may not be a good thing depending on your philosophical bent, but I feel very strongly that a move to NBA-style rookie compensation will happen in the next NFL labor deal.

And so our boy Matty is caught up in circumstances beyond his control. He needs to go pro. Consider: this year, the 1st pick in the NFL draft will make safely north of $36 million in guarantees alone. By contrast, top young baller in the NBA nets a deal in the neighborhood of five years and $25 mill total in the '08 draft. Can you really hold it against Staff for jumping in during the final year before the NFL's slotted rookie pay scale? I hope no one counsels him that the money will always be there. It won't.

Moral of the story: Enjoy the 24-7 show this fall, and try not to be bitter in the winter when they are both gone.

Buzzin' Around on the Ground

Or, in other words, GiT's new Paul Johnson offense. Look, their most consistent receiver quit the team. Looks like its down to 3 receivers on scholly. That's really normal for a D-1 program. Given the departure of Taylor Bennett and receivers ad infinitum, there can be little doubt what PJ's new offense will look like. I distinctly remember SSDawg assuring posters on the DawgRun that PJ passed everywhere he went - including Hawaii - a lot! At this point, I would have to disagree with that prediction.

UGA won't have to "worry" about anything like this for awhile.

My question is: what does this do to to their defense? Sen. Blutarsky has a theory that the spread option makes a lot of teams softer because the defense doesn't have to battle it out in the trenches during practice. I'm not sure I buy that completely - you are still going to have to offensive linemen (albeit likely smaller) and good running backs (albeit not downhill bruisers), such that your scout team can still provide a reasonable facsimile of a traditional offense. In my totally uneducated opinion. But to me it seems like it would be nearly impossible to replicate passing teams if you are a pure run option team, ala GiT now. For one, you probably don't have quality passers. But secondly, and most importantly, can your starting secondary really expect to get good work in if your scout team has zero scholarship players? Tech's corners simply are not going to be challenged on a daily basis.

Does this theory have any basis? Let's look at Navy, PJ's team last year. They gave up 262 yards per game through the air last year, good for 106th place. I know, they have smaller linemen, and nothing but scrappy white people, or something like that. I would list another team, but I doubt any other offenses are reverting back to the triple option. Would Arkansas be comparable? Have they thrown a pass in the past 3 years? If so, why? Arky was pretty solid with pass D (23rd).

Interesting to see how it plays out.

His Hoooomme's In Alabama...

I missed this Ivan Maisel I-Formation from a few weeks back. Maisel likes to act all high-minded because he went to that fancy hippie-tree school in Calleyfornia, but in his heart he is but a true Bammer. He kindly shared his faux social awareness with us to riff on Georgia's tag dispute, entitled "Bonfire of the Vanities."

. . . That's more than $100,000 from the wallets of fans who don't like Georgia or Georgia Tech. Rep. Fleming introduced legislation that would require a reciprocal tag in any other state with a university that has a vanity license plate in the state of Georgia.

I've heard of legislators who spend the people's money like drunken sailors. I don't recall hearing of legislators who work to shut off money from the people. What's worse, the Georgia House passed the legislation, 142-10.

As the song says, "Glory, glory to old Georgia."

Wow, hard to argue with any of that. This year's State budget was approximately $20 billion. For those of you keeping score at home, that's approximately 1/2 millionth (?) of the budget. He must not know that the Georgia Legislature is trying to end taxes altogether. Georgia will make that $100K back in one day from gambling Alabama rednecks on the border who would rather send governors to the federal pokey than vote for their lottery proposals.

Ivan Maisel: Learned College Football Writer/Political Commentator/Zip-Cardigan Model

Listen, I have no real opinion on this one way or the other, and its one of those issues that make me glad my preferred party is nowhere near power. But Mandel's self-righteousness is petulant. If his argument is that no legislature should refuse tax monies of any kind, why doesn't he call for all of Georgia's neighboring states (ahem, Alabama) to sell other state's university tags? Imagine his guffawing if he heard that Georgia allowed Gator tags: "Georgians must be desperate for money- they sell their civic pride $25 at a time!"

Ivan, I understand, if my native state was the epicenter of Redneck America, I would be looking to make illogical cracks on other states as well.

AJC Tired of Covering Crappy Teams

And who can blame them? I guess the Vick disaster was fun for a while and it was nice everyone got to mug it up on ESPN, but I'm sure its got to be easier for everyone to cover a winner. Their latest effort involves a blitzkrieg against Matty Ice, whom an astounding number of pundits think is the slam-dunk savior franchise QB for the Birds. Today on the ajc.com Falcons page, they had a huge pic of Brian Brohm - remember him?- he was supposed to be the Falcons' #1 pick for like ten months. "Brohm Intrigues Falcons" they say, and then link to an article from an outside website. In all my years of sports internet obsession, I cannot remember the AJC doing this, particularly as the lead story on a section. Wow - who the hell is "Big C" anyway? Good god, that's about as shocking as the South's biggest paper linking to this craptastic site. Anyway, the outside link is very complimentary of Brohm - he's not Matt Ryan - woohoo! He ran a 4.6 forty - woohoo! That's almost as fast as Vick! Aaannd...he's not Matt Ryan- Who has onions!

Feel the Chill... Of "Matty Ice" (Boston Hrld.)

And right beside it is the headline "Dorsey Pro Day Impressive." Guess what- links to another outside site. Knock, knock, Mr. Wyche? Are you home? This kind of cracked me up because not everyone thought that highly of Dorsey's workout. Don't think its an open campaign against the IceMan? The poll underneath all these stories (since removed) asked: If the Falcons pass on Matt Ryan, who should the Falcons draft as their next quarterback? So while this open advocacy might risk the AJC's sterling reputation for objective journalism, um, never mind. I, for one, am loving it. There are a hundred reasons why this makes no sense to me. Thanks AJC!

Never Heard of Key West?

Ah, for the days of Spring Break. This time of year reminds me that my life is indeed over. Well, I do love wearing a suit every day, commuting, and petty office squabbles. Maybe its not all lost. On that note, the AJC had an interesting piece the other day highlighting, among other things, various players Spring Break plans. Full article in the link, but here are the relevant snippets:

Curran: "Heading to Savannah with my girl."
Translation: "I'll be drinking outside for like 12 hours straight standing up. I'm getting so wasted I will be pissing in green fountains in plain view. I will literally be drunk out of my mind. There is a 50% chance I will be arrested or comatose. "

If the water's already green...

Ellerbe: "Going home to sit in front of the TV and get fat."
Translation: "TV. Munchies. You figure it out."

Jones: "Going home and hanging out."
Translation" "See Ellerbe, Danell."

DT Jeff Owens: "Taking a little road trip. Going with Josh Davis to Mississippi. Then we're thinking about going to Houston for Big 12 [basketball] championship, and we might drop by LSU to see some buddies of mine. Heading west."
Translation: "We've seen some crazy LSU bitches on Youtube. Gonna hit that shit up. Houston? I just love me some driving. Why wouldn't I? I'm a giant and riding in cars is comfortable to me."



These are what I would call nontraditional Spring Breakers. Me, I'd prefer to just some old school wet t contests at PCB, fratting it up at Key West, or helping to give Sin City its name. Let's hope Saint Richt is able to get some sleep this week.

Least Surprising Story from the Braves Spring Training

Its like Mad Libs. Mike Hampton [Insert Body Part] was injured in the [Insert inning] when he [Insert fluke incident].

Mike, we're begging you, stretch before you try to pitch.

http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/braves/stories/2008/03/07/hampton_0308.html

Obviously Furman Reads the 4WFS

Furman Bisher gets the same idea I had last year. I'd wager he had to dust off the 4 years of dust on it since he wrote it though. The article basically talks about how Brett "Fov" drank, then pissed away his opportunity with the Falcons. It's amazing how circumstances can define a person. The NFL should send the Falcons a gift basket for getting rid of him before the ATL broke Brett's ass-slapping spirit. I wonder where the Vickster would be if he latched on with a competent franchise?

Sure, he could booze, but could he make it to the federal pen?

The real reasons to read Furman's column are the enlightening comments afterward. Furman really draws the vitriol out for some reason. I don't understand it; frankly I'm impressed at how lucid he is. Good for him. But, I just wanted to point out one comment in particular. I should make this a running documentary on 4WFS just to preserve the utter stupidity of AJC.com readers for posterity. [As I'm writing this, I discovered that the ajc.com took down what was the be the featured quote. Thank God they do this now. I was going to cut and paste a comment by "Bob" who basically said "yepper, Buckhead used to be great but blacks ruined and the Mexicans are doing it to Sandy Springs now." Um, ok. I bet Bob loves the Hawks commentary on this blog. The thread also devolved into anti-Bob and pro-Bob camps. Pro-Bobbers expanded on his logic for even broader social commentary and argued against the northern expansion of MARTA. Way to keep it on topic, Bobby. How embarrassing. For your family.]

Here's a backup quote:

"By las

March 4, 2008 9:16 PM | Link to this

Typical Bisher! The greatest QB of all time retires and all he can do is liken him to some former QBs that couldn’t hold Favre’s jock and then spotlight the low points of the most wonderful career ever. Can Bisher ever say anything good about anyone without dwelling on the negative. I hope that when Furman retires all anyone writes about is his reprehensible behavior when he maligned, libeled and slandered Bear Bryant and Wally Butts back in the 1960s. Is it not time we washed our hands of this sorry charlatan!"

Again, I don't get the Bisher hate. And LAS must have the longest memory ever.

Straight Out of Billy Knight's Playbook

The Falcons, as usual, made a big splash in free agency. Even Terence Moore is impressed. Call me jaded, but most of these splashes have turned out to be more like water plops. The newest big thing for the Birds is Michael Turner. I get this reasoning. Why draft the next great offensive playmaker (McDadden) when you can have the current one's backup? This is a classic Billy Knight move. Remember he thought it would be better to sign Chris Paul's understudy, Speedy Claxton, instead of drafting the man himself. That didn't work so well, for the Hawks anyway. This is taking Saccharin over sugar, Jamie Foxx over Ray Charles, or strip clubs over hookers.

Come on Dimitroff. Go for the real thing. There is a reason Turner backed up LT- because he's not the generational weapon that LT is. And I got news for you, McFaddy Daddy is better than LT. And here's another free tip to you Dimitroff, just for riding the Pettifogging express: Get Vick back next year. There are 3 simple steps to NFL domination. Step one: Draft McFaddyDaddy. Step two: smuggle clean urine into VickDog's drug rehab cell. Step three : In 2009, run the Wildcat offense on every single play. Let's see those two freaks of nature bring the wood on every play. Think about it.

VickDog and McFaddyDaddy in the same backfield. I just want to be entertained.

Oh, you have a better option at QB? That's right, I forgot you've got Matty Ice (who positively torched a down ACC this year. hint: check out the completion % and INTs. For a Senior! Are you kidding?) and Chris "Good Hands" Redman.

God, you're right, the Vickster offed a few of his lazier pit bulls. But you know, this is America, and people forgive a lot worse shit than that. Hell, just look at our fair state's history. Herman Talmadge was elected to the Senate for decades after he ran on a platform for a white primary. We still all drink 8 Cokes a day even though they tried to make everyone crackheads. Richard Jewell tried to save some lives at the Olympics, was fat, and died (well, maybe Jewell doesn't fit here, but cut some slack; how could we forgive such a portly man for not doing something that was done which we all wanted him to have done? chew on that for a sec). Scheurholz got to run the Braves for a decade and a half after he traded the Murph. Vince Dooley's name gets priority over both Butts and Mehre and he hired Ray Friggin' Goff. Obviously, all these are much less forgivable affronts to mankind, and we Georgians learned to revere them over time.

Of course, no one listens to Pettifogger. It's a given that the Falcons won't draft McDadden. That's alright, what's not to love about that strategy? Signing career backup RBs sure has worked wonders for Al Davis (hopefully Turner at least will not allegedly urinate himself while driving). I guess the practical side of me can somewhat maybe kinda sorta understand drafting line help, but God help the Georgia Dome if they draft Ryan. If I'm ever in downtown ATL, I will totally pull a Rhodes on it.

Please, do what Al Davis does.

AP: White House Hires Sheffield as Deputy Press Secretary

Washington - The White House today announced that it was hiring Gary Sheffield to replace the recently departed Dana Perino as its Deputy Press Secretary. The move was considered surprising for several reasons. Sheffield, of Major League Baseball fame, is still a full-time baseball player for the American League Central Division contending Detroit Tigers. "Hell, he's just a designated hitter," President George W. Bush replied when asked by reporters. "As you know, he plays baseball player, so we know he's a good Ohmerican," the President continued. "Did ya'll know I like baseball? I used to own the Rangers. Man, they've been doing great for a long time now. Am I good at runnin' stuff or what?"

Political analyst and Fox News contributor Fred Barnes expressed surprise at the move, but agreed that Sheffield's other job would not inhibit Sheffield's performance as Deputy Press Secretary, even as Sheffield would shoulder additional duties as Press Secretary Tony Snow recovers from his bout with cancer. "Well, as you know, we have a hidden wire that runs into Tony's ear in which we tell him what to say during his daily briefings," confided Barnes. "What, that's on the record? Shit, well, its not like we didn't make it obvious to everyone when we put one of our hosts as the nation's chief communicator." Those sentiments were echoed by a previous White House Secretary, who wished to remain anonymous . "It's not as if facts ever played a role in our presentation to the media and the public," claimed the source. "My name's not Ari if that wasn't true in the lead-up to the Iraqi occupation, excuse me, liberation," he concluded.

Gary Sheffield, seen here spouting unbelievable nonsense in 2005.

Sheffield's hiring is surprising to some conservatives because he has repeatedly made controversial statements in his playing career, practically none of which would seem to align politically with President Bush. In fact, his recent interview with GQ magazine have been universally condemned as not only anti-white, but also anti-anyone-who-is-not-a-descendant-of-a-previously-enslaved-person-from-East Africa.

The White House, however, disagreed and claimed that Sheffield's recent comments were instrumental in his hiring. "We were impressed that Gary could take a look at the big picture as he saw it, and stick to his belief system although conventional wisdom might suggest otherwise," said Secretary Snow. "I mean, if we listened to all the 'inside-the-Beltway' conventional wisdom mumbo-jumbo in the White House, we would just drive ourselves crazy. Or break into cold sweats in the middle of the night every night. Or resign. Or...Where was I?"

Sheffield - who had built a reputation as a clutch playoff hitter for the Florida Marlins, and then played for the Atlanta Braves - replaces the effervescent Perino. Perino became a household name while filling in for Tony Snow earlier this spring as he underwent treatment. In her last press conference, she thanked the White House for the "opportunity of a lifetime" and gushed that President Bush was the "greatest President she had ever worked for." Close confidants of Ms. Perino told a different story, however. "Basically, she was tired of laboring to come up with asinine jingoisms like 'with us or against us,' 'post9-11 world,' and 'surge' to undermine the rule of law and foster war-profiteering. She's kind of too hot to work that hard."

Too hot for this shit.

News of Sheffield's hiring was received warmly around the baseball community, even among the Latino players, which were the targets of his most recent controversial comments. "You know, I think he's right. Spanish-speaking players like me are usually pretty docile and easily controlled," opined Manny Ramirez, star left-fielder for the Boston Red Sox. Even lesser-known players, such as Braves utility infielder Willie Aybar agreed that Sheffield was just being accurate in his criticism of Latino players. "Yeah, man, I'll do whatever I'm told, no questions asked. Especially when I'm sober and the team actually knows where I am and not on some ecstasy-fueled drive to Boston ." When asked for comment, Sammy Sosa only replied that "Baisbull has been berry good to me."

Bad News Bears

On the heels of the recent news regarding tonight's basketball game in Lexington, I have officially decided that the 2006-07 UGA basketball team is snake bitten.

• Levi Stukes did not travel with the team for tonight's game, due to conduct detrimental to the team. Could there be worse timing?
• I have no idea what happened to prompt this suspension, but out of all the Bulldogs I hate for this to happen to Levi. I have always admired the fact that he came to Athens as Felton's first substantial recruit when he knew the dire situation left behind by Harrick.
  
• 
  
• Mike Mercer shreds his knee. How different would the Ole Miss game have been with Mercer in the line-up?
  
• Alabama (despite the fact that the entire sports world has it in for them) beats the Dogs by a bucket on a disputed (and apologized for) call at the buzzer. How great would it be to have that win in the pocket right now?
• Gonzaga's second leading scorer was suspended after his arrest for 'shroom possession. You have to be trippin' (I couldn't leave that one alone). The Dog's win over the 'Zags earlier in the year now carries less weight in the RPI as Gonzaga struggles during the second half of the season.

Trippin' Balls

At the beginning of the year, a birth in the NIT would have been a wonderful achievement for Dennis "Man Style" Felton and his troops. At this point in the season, however, it would be a shame if the Dogs could not find their way into the tournament. A victory at UK (RPI #11) tonight would seal the deal for the Dogs. A loss tonight means that the Dogs would need to win its final game or its first game in the SEC tournament. A victory over Tennessee in the final game would be a huge hurdle, especially considering the recent strong play of the Vols. Let's hope the Bulldogs can overcome this string of bad luck and find a way to sneak into the tournament. It would be a wonderful recruiting tool and a sign to the basketball world that Georgia Basketball is moving in the right direction under Dennis Felton. Not to mention, I really want to see what kind of suit 'ole Dennis would sport for a tourney run.

Have you seen me?

AWOL.

BREAKING NEWS: Slavery is bad

Following the lead of the United States Congress, Virginia’s legislators have taken a shocking stand...they renounced slavery. This is just the most recent story in a line of stories regarding the emerging threat of slavery in America. Some people point to Meth as the newest threat to the American South, however, our news media and even state legislators have taken the steps to recognize and thwart the promulgation of slavery. Why is it that elected officials are so ready to vote on non-binding and extremely popular measures instead of attacking real threats? Elected officials are attempting to become little more than individuals voting in online public opinion polls.

WARNING: Alabama may be next...Actually, let's not get too ahead of ourselves.

A Gunslinger in the Run-and-Shoot?

16 years ago, the Falcons were faced with a quarry very similar to the one they face today: Do you the trade the young and talented, bright-eyed QB for a first-round draft pick? 16 years ago, the Falcons made the (apparently) wrong choice and sent the one-year Buckhead wonder to Green Bay for Packers' top pick.

I am in no way suggesting that Slugger Schaub is in the class of Brett Favre, either in substance abuse problems or in pure God-given arm strength. In fact, I think the Falcons would be rather dumb not to cash in on Schaub's value; frankly I'm surprised they didn't do it last year when his value was at its peak. But it is interesting that the Falcons once again have managed to draft a stud quarterback which they plan only to use as a backup, particularly in light of this little piece of eye-poking from Bristol: What if the Falcons had not traded Brett Favre?

What if the Falcons hadn't traded Favre? Well, Gee, I don't know. What if your bosses hadn't decided to be located in Connecticut, and you could wake up every morning without your scrotum being frozen to your thigh? Up yours, ESPN.

Whenever some asinine talking head used to ask this question, I used to say to myself: "Pettifogger, if the Falcons had kept Favre they would have never drafted Vick!" That was a reasonable reaction for a few years, but now Vick has turned into Ron Mexico and has forgotten how to lead the team to the playoffs. So now that there's no solice anymore that we have Vick, I guess you have to consider it. The thing is, the Favre fantasy should be nothing to get too worked up about. Given the insurmountable culture of mediocrity, Favre would have been about as good as Jeff George in the ole Run 'n Shoot, but in the process he might have re-ignited the entire City of Atlanta in a drunken stupor. Count your (few) blessings, Atlanta fans.

Why no, Scarlett, that's not the Yankees. Its just our backup quarterback. Why yes, he is from Mississippi!

The Return of Fast Freddie

This news is kind of late, but recently the Falcons signed hometown fave Fred Gibson (I guess his hometown team would more accurately be called the Jaguars, but I'm sure Fred is happy to latch on with anybody). I always thought that Fast Freddie would have been given a more fair shake in the pros given his size, natural athleticism (ask Billy Donovan), and his fast playing speed. After watching him for 4 years at UGA, I wouldn't nominate him for the Steve Irwin Award for Courage for running routes across the middle, but he did make tremendous progress during his career.

Alligator Arms! Crikey!

In fact, his TD catch in his senior year to beat the Gators (where he essentially snatched the ball out of the DB's grasp) was one of the gutsiest and strong-armed grabs I've ever seen.

I have seen way too little of this in my lifetime.

One thing I've never understood about the NFL is how players from lesser-known schools, who haven't had to face stiff competition each day in practice and every Saturday, seemingly get more opportunities than players like Gibson. I know that the NFL effectively and ruthlessly evaluates talent, but take a gander at the Steelers' current roster. They have wideouts that hail from the football powerhouses of Brown, UTEP, and Tiffin. You can't tell me with a straight face that all of those guys will be much better in the League than a Gibson or Terrance Edwards, 2 UGA studs that have flamed out in the pros. I would posit that pro scouts overvalue the "chip on his shoulder" trait and are more willing to take chances on small-school talent than those "fat cats" from high profile programs.

Hope Fred makes the most of his chance. If the Falcons cut him in favor of the wondrous Adam Jennings, it will be just another reason to hate them.

Weekend Observations

How the mighty have fallen:

A lovely trip to Tuscaloosa on Saturday for the Kentucky – Alabama basketball game taught me two things: these once might powers have fallen. Not too long ago Kentucky and Alabama reigned supreme over the SEC in basketball and football respectively. The action on the court evidenced Kentucky’s fall from prominence, while the action in the stands evidenced that the Crimson Tide nation is having difficulty coping with the current state of Tide athletics, most notably their football program.

At the first TV timeout the once-mighty Wildcats had scored a whopping two points. At the completion of the game UK had gone sixty-three minutes without having the lead over an opponent. It is clear that Tubby Smith does not have the ability to motivate, recruit, and coach Kentucky effectively. For the Kentucky Basketball Program’s sake, I would hope that Tubby moves forward after this season and is not formally forced out by UK.

It was clear to me that the Alabama faithful are quite frustrated with ‘Bama athletics. After every possession in the second-half there were at least 10 men that would stand in unison and complain about a call or non-call on the respective ends of the floor. This frustration (especially in a game that 'Bama led throughout) stems from the slide downward of their football program and with the way in which the sanctions prompting this slide came about. It is quite clear that Alabama feels as if it is 'Bama against the world – they are still angry over their belief that Fat Phil sold them out and they feel that ESPN had a strong hand in the sanctions stemming from the Albert Means incident. At the end of the day, Bama needs to understand that they cheated – an Alabama booster paid over 200K to get Albert means to come to Alabama, end of story.

These two programs are nearly parallel – the two fan bases are out of control and the fan bases cannot come to the understanding that the once-mighty have fallen. The only difference between the two programs is that University of Alabama has allowed their direction to be charted by this overly rabid fanbase. Since the 1940s UK basketball has been headed by five coaches. The last five football coaches in Tuscaloosa – Saban, Shula, Coach Fran, Dubose, Stallings – only take us back to 1990.

The Baron and the Bear would not be happy.

High Profile Boosters Applaud Loudly

For quite some time is has been a well known fact throughout Dixie that Bobby Lauder and Paul Bryant Jr. run Auburn and Alabama respectively. They pull the strings that rouse the Athletic Directors to action. I am certain everybody remembers Lauder’s jet sitting of the tarmac at the Louisville airport waiting to take Bobby Petrino to Auburn to replace the Riverboat Gambler. Regarding Alabama, this recent incident shows who runs Alabama football.

The power of these boosters makes the recent news from the University of Oregon even more interesting. Instead of keeping up the – albeit fraudulent – illusion that boosters don’t run the program, Oregon has hired a high level booster (only one step below Mr. Swoosh himself) to run its athletic department.

Nowhere was this news more applauded than in great state of Alabama, where the mortal enemies, Bryan and Lauder, locked arms and jumped for joy.

Driving with Diapers Pt. II

To update last week’s Driving With Diapers story…While the AARP did not get its wish regarding a 72 year old behind the wheel at the Great American Race, they did get the next best thing. Instead of a man in diapers driving to victory, we got an aging Viagra spokesman losing by an inch (cheap joke warning... I guess he did not give the Viagra enough time to take hold).

**disclaimer: In understand that Marting no longer drives the #6 Viagra car, however, there were no jokes regarding Daytona without making this connection.

Lefty Chokes Again

The suddenly svelte Phil Mickelson choked again. Lefty, in a replay of Winged Foot, failed to par the 72^nd hole to secure victory. Even after Chucky Three Sticks (Charles Howell III) took Mickelson to a playoff, Lefty had opportunity to win the tournament with a relatively easy up and down, but failed. Is there any doubt that Lefty is a head case down the stretch? Maybe the extra 60 pounds is not what was holding Lefty back.

News of the Weird

Britney Spears continues to follow in the footsteps of Anna Nicole Smith. In case you missed her latest excellent decision, she shaved her head. Need I say more?

Driving with Diapers!

Despite Tim Hardaway's proclamation of his hatred for gays, (note that Tim has recently affirmed his hatred by commenting on past articles found in this blog) I have decided to write about people driving with diapers on. I am not talking about this famous cosmonaut. However, I am talking about NASCAR.

Let us first remember that NASCAR is the organization that prides itself on safety. They have even gone so far as to install flaps on the tops of the cars to reduce the highlight reel flips that drew people to the sport.

Because of the above, I was shocked to read about this 72 year old hotrodder attempting to qualify, for America's Greatest Race, today at almost 200 miles per hour. This was even more shocking after learning of this incident that took place today.

The intimidator would spin the old man out. Love the Gargoyles Dale.

Long live Dale! We miss you 3 Car.

Salutations,
Bubble

Breaking News: NCAA takes its head out of its ass

The NCAA did something completely out of character - it did something good for college football.

In doing so it is breaking ground on two fronts.

1. Putting the interests of the game above the almighty dollar.
2. Admitting it was wrong.

Thank you Bret Bielema

Hold On, Bigger Name on Line 2

I know this page is ostensibly about Georgia football, but this is the sports news of the day and it must be mentioned. Why in the name of all that is holy did the Chargers (I refuse to call them the SuperChargers just because Berman does) fire Marty Schottenheimer? Going 14-2 and losing in a tough playoff game does not usually get a head coach fired. Schottenheimer and AJ Smith, the Chargers GM, must have some sort of death feud doing. There are three variables that had to come together for this firing to go down in February - one week before the combine.

1. AJ Smith really hates Marty. Not dislikes, but hates. I mean, I dislike Jim Pettifogger because he is a slapdick lawyer but we still get along well enough to do this blog.
2. AJ Smith is insane/oblivious/filthy stinking rich or a combination of all three. If, although I would expect when to be more apt, blows up in the Chargers face AJ Smith will be the one that is on the hook.
3. Huge name poised to take the job. I know that they will have to go through the dog and pony show of interviewing candidates, but they surely have spoken with big name head coaches about this job. With my limited understanding of the rules, I believe the Chargers could not have spoken to any current NFL coaches. But there are some pretty good head coaches out of job right now.
   

Last night and this morning I cruised around the regular sports sites - blog or otherwise - and they all had a list of candidates. So, I guess that is the thing to do today so here is mine.

1. Tuna.
2. Pete Carroll. Especially now that Reggie Bush has managed to get SC into NCAA trouble twice in two years. Not that impressive, except that he was no longer in school in both instances.
   
3. Cowher. Retiring to North Carolina to learn the piano is nice. Retiring to San Diego to beat ass with the most talented team in the NFL is much better.
4. Saban. Just because he is a mercenary like that.

If AJ Smith and the Chargers cannot get one of these guys - or a guy of their ilk - then this was a dumb move. Although, not as dumb a move as betting on the Chargers to win the 2008 Super Bowl last week.